October 2, 2009
October 2: Cure JM Day
*
Our pediatrician admitted it early on.
The rash on our 2-year-old daughter's cheeks, joints and legs was something he'd never seen before.
The next doctor wouldn't admit to not knowing.
He rattled off the names of several skins conditions -- none of them seemingly worth his time or bedside manner -- then quickly prescribed antibiotics and showed us the door.
The third doctor admitted she didn't know much.
The biopsy of the chunk of skin she had removed from our daughter's knee showed signs of an "allergic reaction" even though we had ruled out every allergy source -- obvious and otherwise -- that we could.
The fourth doctor had barely closed the door behind her when, looking at the limp blonde cherub in my lap, she admitted she had seen this before. At least one too many times before.
She brought in a gaggle of med students. She pointed out each of the physical symptoms in our daughter:
The rash across her face and temples resembling the silhouette of a butterfly.
The purple-brown spots and smears, called heliotrope, on her eyelids.
The reddish alligator-like skin, known as Gottron papules, covering the knuckles of her hands.
The onset of crippling muscle weakness in her legs and upper body.
She then had an assistant bring in a handful of pages photocopied from an old medical textbook. She handed them to my wife, whose birthday it happened to be that day.
This was her gift -- a diagnosis for her little girl.
That was seven years ago -- Oct. 2, 2002 -- the day our daughter was found to have juvenile dermatomyositis, one of a family of rare autoimmune diseases that can have debilitating and even fatal consequences when not treated quickly and effectively.
Our daughter's first year with the disease consisted of surgical procedures, intravenous infusions, staph infections, pulmonary treatments and worry. Her muscles were too weak for her to walk or swallow solid food for several months. When not in the hospital, she sat on our living room couch, propped up by pillows so she wouldn't tip over, as medicine or nourishment dripped from a bag into her body.
Our daughter, Thing 1, Megan, now age 9, remembers little of that today when she dances or sings or plays soccer. All that remain with her are scars, six to be exact, and the array of pills she takes twice a day to help keep the disease at bay.
What would have happened if it took us more than two months and four doctors before we lucked into someone who could piece all the symptoms together? I don't know.
I do know that the fourth doctor, the one who brought in others to see our daughter's condition so they could easily recognize it if they ever had the misfortune to be presented with it again, was a step toward making sure other parents also never have to find out.
That, too, is my purpose today.
It is also my birthday gift to my wife, My Love, Rhonda, for all you have done these past seven years to make others aware of juvenile myositis diseases and help find a cure for them once and for all.
To read more about children and families affected by juvenile myositis diseases, visit Cure JM Foundation at www.curejm.org.
To make a tax-deductible donation toward JM research, go to www.firstgiving.com/rhondaandkevinmckeever or www.curejm.com/team/donations.htm.
August 5, 2009
My God, what have I done?
Yeah, it's been a while since the first installment. Thought this might be a good time to pick it back up again. When we last left our hero, he was leaving home. With that all wrapped up, we now find him at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, Home of the Artillery, King of the Battle. Ooo-sha!
Oh good Lord, the waiting. Tom Petty has no idea how right he was. Every movement in the military is a lesson in extremes. Move as fast as you can to get to a location. Wait an interminable amount of time for something to happen then move post haste to your next point. Then do this for 10 or so days straight. All day. All the while knowing full well you have yet to even start anything.
This is Reception. Or more accurately, Reception Battalion. Here you are introduced to some elements of the military experience. Here you march, albeit out of step and still in civilian clothes. Here you learn to say “Drill Sergeant, yes, Drill Sergeant” but with none of the fear, respect or second nature reflex. In Reception, you get shots, in both arms, from medics with hydraulic nail guns who, on some level it seems, take pleasure in inflicting a small amount of pain in these new ‘cruits. You are Privates or Privates First Class. You are the bottom rung. You are a grabastic piece of amphibian shit. The only thing on your level (at least in the eyes of an NCO) is a Lieutenant, but you’re pulling away.
Some newbies, like me, are pulled out of ranks first thing some morning and escorted to a testing facility where, for the next six hours, we are subjected to made up languages and the dots and dashes of Morse Code ad nauseum. Apparently, we have an aptitude for languages the military wanted to exploit nurture. This only served to extend my stay in the Eighth Circle of Hell known as Reception for another four days, which also intensifies the false sense of security that begins to set in. “Shit, this isn’t so bad.”
Reception is where ‘cruits are herded into a barbershop and shorn like sheep. Each haircut takes approximately 45 seconds – maybe less – as the “barber” of Seville carves out row after row using a 0 blade. Down to the skin. Look! Penises on Parade. In Reception, you learn to spit out the last four numbers of your SSN as easily as saying your name. In Reception, you are issued uniforms, with your name on them, and it’s all made real. But you are, in no way, shape or form prepared for what’s to come. You have been successfully lulled.
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The morning of that day of days, the day you finally leave Reception, is really no different than any other. You’re still hurrying up and waiting. You strip the bed you’ve been using; do the duffle bag drag downstairs; and then wait to join whatever group you’ve been assigned to. You move to that group and wait some more. Waiting for what you have no idea. Until, that is, the cattle tucks arrive. Olive drab trucks pulling silver trailers. Each one identical. And each one equally menacing yet somehow benign. Drill Sergeants emerge from the trailers. They are pressed and spit-shined and command a level of respect nary uttering a word. “Grab your bags and get on the truck,” says the large African-American DS with an equally large and booming voice. You think that basso profundo voice might be soothing in a Barry White sorta way. You soon will be disabused of that notion. The other DS, a mustachioed fire hydrant, only glares at the recruits getting on his truck.
Neither DS says a word for most of the ride. There is a stop halfway through where each new soldier has his picture taken in non-descript Class A (dress greens) jackets and caps nicknamed after a derogatory slang term for female nether regions. Yeah, you figure it out; you’re smart like that. “Get off the truck…get on the truck.” All the while, the fire hydrant never says a word. And that makes you nervous. The lull has started to wear off.
You look at other privates standing in the truck, each one a camouflaged straphanger. No one makes eye contact. Eyes are fixed on the floor or at imaginary spots on the truck walls. But each new soldier on this truck is very well aware that things are going to change soon and in a very profound way.
The truck slows down. Railroad tracks. Did it just get dark outside? Was that thunder? This is so not good.
“WELCOME TO THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ TWILIGHT ZONE YOU PUNK MOTHERFUCKERS,” bellows the fire hydrant – why couldn’t it have been basso profundo? “YOU WILL NOT KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS. YOU WILL NOT KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS. YOUR MOTHER IS NOT HERE TO HELP YOU. YOU BELONG TO ME AND THE UNITED STATES ARMY. PICK UP YOUR FUCKIN’ BAGS AND GET READY TO GET OFF MY FUCKIN’ TRUCK.”
You quickly learn that this guy owns everything. The truck. The drill pad. The stairs. Even the air you breathe. You reach down and grab duffle bags, unsure if you’ve even grabbed your own. The truck stops and the rear doors fly open. You’re aware of a lot of yelling. So. Much. Yelling.
“WHAT’S YOUR NAME, PRIVATE? GODDAMMIT, I SAID WHAT’S YOUR NAME? GOD YOU ARE ONE STUPID MOTHERFUCKER. GET DOWN AND BEAT YOUR FACE.**”
You hustle your way off the truck, hoping to God and anyone else who will listen that you can get through this with minimal damage. Alas, it’s all in vain. When all is said and done, you have run the gauntlet of six Drill Sergeants and had the misfortune of running up square against basso profundo (who’s not so soothing anymore as his 6’5” frame looms over you) and the fire hydrant – the Senior Drill Sergeant. (This would be funny, an interesting study in contrasts, but you lost your funny two drill sergeants ago.) You have said your name too many times to count. You have done push-ups for not saying “Drill Sergeant, yes, Drill Sergeant” on more than one occasion. You have done them because you have an accent. You have done them because you are from Boston. You have done them because they met someone else from Boston and didn’t particularly like that person fuck you very much. You think your name is Motherfucker or maybe it's Sumbitch or the quite exquisite, Punkassmotherfucker. Kinder, gentler Army my ass. You are long past not being able to feel your arms. This is what running on pure adrenaline is like. And man is it hot – Oklahoma in June – can’t wait to see what July and August bring. Is that a migraine rearing its ugly head? Fan-fuckin-tastic.
“Grab your bags and stand over there. Drink some water too,” says the Senior Drill Sergeant, not yelling, just talking. “You Northern boys...yeah you...you need to drink water. Lots of fuckin' water. I don’t want any fuckin’ heat casualties. Hurry up!” Hurry comes out Her-ry. And you'll hear it a lot. In your sleep even.
The shock-and-awe portion of our program is over for now. What time is it? Oh my God, he was right. I have no concept of time anymore. It’s time for the punks to get settled into the bays. Each bay consists of four rows of ten bunks each, separated by wall lockers, two bays per floor. This particular bay is third platoon, A Battery, 2/30 FA. Third Herd as it would be affectionately known to the 40 men who resided here. And home sweet home for the next eight weeks. Forty men go in, 38 come out.
**Beat your face means get down on the ground and start doing push-ups. The only thing worse to hear is "half-right face...front-leaning-rest position...move...in cadence...exercise" which is the actual command for the push-up while in platoon formation.
July 31, 2009
Glory Be!
Well, whaddaya know. I can still find this blog and log-in - woo-hoo! Last time I was here I mentioned I've been in a funk. And brother what a funk it really was, glory be! to paraphrase Paper Lace. Anyway, if you want to know why I've been out of sorts as of late, head on over to DadCentric to read my latest post over there. I think I'm beginning to get my mojo back - or at least I'm hoping that's the case. I do feel as if the creative fires have once again been stoked - the old boiler is back in business (steam drum, dry pipe, superheater, etc.). (random aside: that last bit is something I learned nearly 25 years ago - it's the beginning of the steam cycle and that link will bring you to the ship on which I once sailed a long, long time ago - on its maiden voyage in 1986 - the Cruise to Nowhere as we dubbed it. Strange days, strange days indeed.)
Ok, back to business. Again, in that last post I had a contest for two copies of Ghostbusters: The Video Game for the Wii. I want to thank you for entering, it's an honor just to be nominated. Um...no...sorry, that's a different speech. Hold on flipping index cards ok, there we go. I hope you know that you're all winners to me. Yeah, that's it. Unfortunately, I only have two copies to give away. After careful consideration and the use of the always mysterious random number generator, I have come up with our winners. Please extend heartfelt congratulations to Kemp and sashalyn for the dubious honor of on winning this grueling contest. If the two of you wouldn't mind sending your mailing address to me at mrbigdubya at gmail dot com I will get those out to you post haste, right away and most riki tik.
I have plans to be back here more often, I miss the cozy confines of this blog. Also, I'm out to lobby for a spot on a panel at next year's BlogHer in NYC. Not sure what I have to offer yet, but I am a charter member of DadCentric - that's gotta count for something, right? Yeah, yeah, that and $2.51 will get me a Great One, just cream at Dunkin'. Also, if you aren't reading the goings on over at The Whinery, you should be. Mrs. Big Dubya has added to the staff over there and people are posting some good stuff about wine and beer. Come check out what such luminaries as Pet Cobra, TwoBusy, Clares Dad, Mrs. Chicky, Goon Squad Sarah, Cape Buffalo and yours truly, as well as some newcomers Swheeze, Mrs. Gnu and Wine-O are offering up. And follow The Whinery on twitter at twitter.com/thewhinery or keep up-to-date on Facebook as well - you'll thank me. I'm there too, but I imagine we already reciprocate on the whole following thing, but if not, you can find me at twitter.com/mrbigdubya - surprise, surprise.
Ta, ta for now. If you're looking for me this weekend, I'll be the one hording all the Torpedo I can find - I think, perhaps, I may have told too many people about this wonderful beer.
July 15, 2009
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
I have two copies of Ghostbusters: The Video Game for the Wii to give away this week. I haven't yet played it - I haven't played any games in the past few weeks - just not in the mood. That's actually a tad ironic since given my mood as of late (up until the past few days, that is) you would think I would want to blow some shit up, cross streams or think about the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man. But, alas, no.
Anyway, entering this contest is ridiculously easy. There are two ways to do so:
1. Leave a comment - any old comment will do. As many as you want. Talk about the weather; tell me a joke; recommend something I should be watching or listening to; anything. Just say something.
2. Post this contest to Twitter and include @mrbigdubya in your tweet. Then come back and link to that tweet so I know it's up.
It's that easy. Two winners will be chosen at random by some Byzantine formula I have yet to devise. You have until next Wednesday, July 22 at 11:59 p.m.to get your entry in - winners will be announced on Thursday, July 23.
June 25, 2009
25 From 25 - Part III (and final)
And, I wrap up the Top 25 of the Past 25 Years and almost four months ahead of schedule. Take that TwoBusy. Come back tomorrow when I announce a contest to win a copy of Ghostbusters: The Video Game for the Wii.
Now, on to the music.
The Smiths - Bigmouth Strikes Again
The Cure - Lullaby
U2 - Trip Through Your Wires
Depeche Mode - But Not Tonight
June 23, 2009
25 from 25 - Part II
In order to allay TwoBusy's fears that I won't finish this meme, here are #15-#6 in my Top 25 of the last 25 years.
Gene Loves Jezebel - Desire (Come and Get It)
The Cult - Love Removal Machine
Love Spit Love - Am I Wrong
Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Someday I Suppose
Paul Weller - Wishing On A Star
The Replacements - Can't Hardly Wait
Cold Water Flat - Magnetic North Pole
Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine
Fine Young Cannibals - Johnny Come Home
Stay tuned - I'll wrap this up before October.
June 10, 2009
25 From 25 - Part I
I will use Tony's method of compiling: #25-16, #15-6 and then my top five. And like him, I'm not offering up the why - unlike TwoBusy, who is apparently DadCentric's resident Nick Hornby - I have a real hard time expressing/justifying why it is that I like certain songs since it is such a subjective thing.
Might as well get this beyotch underway, right? Don't want to drag this out to ::cough:: October ::cough::.
Run DMC - Rock Box
Morphine - Super Sex
Athlete - Wires
Big Audio Dynamite II - Rush
Love and Rockets - No New Tale to Tell
Martin Gore - In a Matter of Speaking
The Streets - Could Well Be In
Concrete Blonde - Everybody Knows
Terence Trent D'Arby - Wishing Well
A Tribe Called Quest - Scenario









