Damn my third grade reading comprehension. Or maybe it's that I have the attention span of a toddler who got into the Easter chocolates. But apparently, I missed a meme. And one from he who shall not be named. Um...no, that's not right. That's some other guy. No, this was one from Black Hockey Jesus. A DadCentric comrade. He who shall not be blamed for tagging the rest of us with a meme. He knows not what he does. Well, maybe he does and he's just some sick, sadistic bastard. Which does make him perfect for DadCentric. In any event, I should probably thank him since he's given me something about which to write. Steel yourself against teh suck.
What are your current obsessions?
Twitter. And, to a lesser extent Facebook. I don't know why, but Twitter has me in its gaping maw of a timesuck. Maybe there's something to that attention span of a toddler I joked about. And now with Tweetdeck I no longer need to hit refresh. The only thing that would make it better would be if it read my tweets to me. So, not only am I distracted by anything remotely shiny, I'm also a lazy sumbitch. C'est la vie. Do you mind finishing this for me? Also, I'm totally hooked on The Orange Box right now. I know I'm behind like ten years in video game years, but I'm really digging it.
Who gave you the best oral sex of your life?
Who are three people who've never been in my kitchen? No, okay moving on then.
What's for dinner?
Beef? No? I have no idea then. It's only 9:30 a.m. Dammit. I just copped Jason's line too. Oh well, imitation is the sincerest form of theft. Or maybe we're just television-obsessed . No, that couldn't be it.
What is your greatest fear at the moment?
I'm afraid of widths. I also fear turning 50. I know it's a ways away, but something about that age just freaks me the hell out. It's like being on a Flexible Flyer with waxed runners hurtling down the K-12 while being chased by a maniacal paperboy. And if something gets in my way I'm not sure I'll be able to turn. But I try not to give it much thought.
What are you listening to right now?
The thumpity-thumpity-thump of my beating heart after that last answer. Well, that and some B-52's who I will see Saturday night at House of Blues.
If you were a God/Goddess, what would you be?
I would be Dionysus-like. Except instead of wine it would be all about the beer. And festivals in my honor would be referred to as dubyanalia and involve keg stands, ice luges and resounding games of quarters.
What are your favorite holiday spots?
The Vineyard. Hands down. I love hob-nobbing with those that "summer" there. That and getting trashed at The Wharf. Heh. Who knew they had a menu? And can someone tell me when seasons became verbs?
What are you reading right now?
How Do Dinosaurs Eat Their Food? and How Do Dinosaurs Go To School? I'm really fascinated with the Jurassic Period lately.
What are four words that describe you?
Thrifty. Brave. Clean. Reverent.
What is your guilty pleasure?
Marshmallow Fluff. Totally devoid of any traditional nutritional value. It even says so on the label: "Provides 0% of RDA of any vitamin or mineral. We're not even sure it qualifies as a food and we make it." But man oh man it is good.
Who or what makes you laugh?
Pauly Shore. The man is genius. On par with Jerry Lewis at the top of his game.
What's your favorite spring thing to do?
Mow the lawn. Hours and hours of yard work. Oh, you said favorite.
Where are you planning to travel next?
Disney. With three kids four and under. Par-tay!
What is the best thing you ate or drank lately?
Despite my rather lukewarm review, Guinness 250th Anniversary Stout is still an exceptional beer.
When is the last time you were tipsy?
Um...see previous post. Those were followed with some Guinness Draught.
What is your favorite movie ever?
Empire Strikes Back. It had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.
What is the biggest life lesson you've learned from your kids?
Milk vomit is particularly nasty.
What song can't you get out of your head?
"What's gonna work? Team-work! What's gonna work? Team-work!"
And...well, this of course.
What book do you know that you should read but refuse to?
To answer this question honestly would take me days. I have sucked out loud as a reader lately.
What is your physical abnormality/abnormal physical ability?
I see dead people.
Why do you think you were called into the realm of the living?
I am the hapless next door neighbor; the foil to the leading father character. I am portrayed as a bit more bumbling; somewhat clueless; and wholly entertaining. I always seem to garner some success despite myself. Sort of like my role at DadCentric.